R O B O T P A C I F I E R

GROCERIES

I don't particularly enjoy grocery shopping. If I don't participate though, that isn't good. So I've found a way to enjoy it. Inspired from watching the office (original version), I channel my inner David Brent and say something straddling the line between plausible and ridiculous. The trick is to deliver the comment as if you aren't kidding.
here's a couple of examples....

(Stacie is disappointed that there isn't a larger bottle of teriyaki)
Stacie: This is the biggest they have!
RP: I know, I wanted a gallon.
Stacie:......(quizzical look)....what?
RP: just kidding.

remember, this amuses me, no guarantees about anyone else.

(Stacie again is disappointed in the quantity offered, this time for olive oil.)
Stacie: This all they have?
RP: Hmm, I was hoping they'd have a drum of it.
Stacie:.....
RP: You know...where you stick in the spigot....

But you can't be subtle and clever all the time, eventually I digress into more immature territory.....

(We're discussing what brand of chicken to buy...)

RP: What if glatt kosher secretly means it's really, really good.
Stacie: It doesn't.

and...

Stacie: Should we get these? They seem the right size.
RP: Those seem good....
Stacie: They're going to shrink when cooked anyway.
RP: Yeah, those are about a C-cup now and should shrink to a B-cup. (giving my best serious decision making face here.)

Good times.

posted by rp @ 10:01 PM